I saw New Moon in the theater and on a date. The purpose was two fold: just to see how bad it actually is, and maybe get laid. In the end I watched a horrible movie and didn’t get laid. Twilight: the ultimate cockblocker. This experience allowed me the chance to channel all the pent [...]
While Twilight is clearly not horror, this is just too damned funny to not share. While most are content to bash its sparkly vampires, I’m a huge proponent of bitching about just how fucking terrible Stephenie Meyer’s writing is. Unfortunately, while I feel I can adequately convey my frustration via the written word, I am [...]
A few months back my friends Dan of Castle Vardulon and Rachel of Zombots!!! decided to hold a little drinking game set to Twilight. In the end I learned I have a horrible speaking voice, Rachel laughs at everything I say, and Dan is probably ashamed to know me.
Ignore the holiday and timely references, for [...]
Dawn of the Dead
“Zombies don’t run.”
Well, why the fuck not?
With Zack Snyder’s plot-hole ridden and downright hilarious re-imagining of Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, convention was turned upside down and the commonly accepted notion of the slow zombie was thrown to the wind. Fast zombies, heretofore relegated to more comedy-themed horror films such as Return [...]
Within the span of approximately five hours, I watched both Twilight and New Moon.
In this I reveal my confession, one I am aware is nigh unforgivable to some: I had never seen Twilight prior to this viewing. I had made an attempt a couple of months back, but roughly thirty minutes in I became so [...]
jacob black
Wait, what?
Several days ago a debate raged on for approximately fifteen minutes on the Twitters over the destruction of vampire mythology in the Twilight series. This seemingly grievous sin, which seemed to be focused heavily on vampires that can traipse freely under the warm glow of the sun and, well, sparkle, is apparently worthy [...]
In regards to I Love Horror, “This blog is at the forefront of the battle to end the pussification of vampires, with its biting commentary on Twilight and Stephanie Meyer.” Those kind, albeit slightly misguided words, are courtesy of the fine femme fatale fronting the fantastic blog Monster Land. I am incredibly flattered yet feel [...]
Dracula-LovingIt06
“Renfield, you asshole.”
Everyone seems to be up in arms over Entertainment Weekly’s recent list of the Top 20 Vampires in film, the cover of which featured sparkly vampire Edward Cullen of Twilight. Here is the complete list:
Lestat, Interview with the Vampire
Christopher Lee’s Dracula
Bela Lugosi’s Dracula
Edward Cullen, Twilight
Bill and Eric, True Blood
Asa Vajda, 1960’s Black Sunday
Angel
Mr. [...]
twilightruinseverything
Everyone hates Twilight. I hate Twilight, you hate Twilight, every single self-respecting human being who went to ComicCon hates Twilight. The only ones who don’t hate Twilight are the vacuous tweens who needed something mind-numbingly retarded to devour after finishing the latest Harry Potter book, the leftover-from-the-nineties goths who find the idea of being the [...]
RSS Feed
