Bloody Disgusting’s little horror contest to spite Total Film is up and running. I’m not going to tell you to vote for me, because pandering for votes is pathetic. I won’t place this all over Facebook, or Twitter, and I certainly won’t e-mail everyone, because no one wants to be bothered with that. All I ask is that you vote for me if you truly feel I Love Horror is worthy of your vote. There are a lot of great blogs on the list, as well as a lot of shitty blogs, so do them – and yourself – a favor by not voting for your friends but for the individual or individuals you feel are truly deserving of being named the Best Horror Blog.

Don’t make this shit a popularity contest.

I was a guest on the AVOD this past week. Myself, Count Vardulon, and the Dive Mistress waxed poetic on the best films of the decade and why New Moon is a horrible movie. If I recall correctly, all I could mutter was more shit about God being dead, but good times were had all around nonetheless. Within a day or so I hope to have our Twilight drinking game posted, and over the next week possibly roll out a new look for I Love Horror. I intend on getting serious with the design and regular updates, as I’m sick of not getting any serious writing done.

Of course, these might just be empty promises.

I have apparently been given a couple of awards. The first was the Zombie Chicken Award, and while I’m unaware of its purpose, I want to give a special thanks to The Dive Mistress of the fantastic blog Zombots! for bestowing upon me what my ego is going to presume the highest honor anyone can receive in the history of ever. After that (or before, I can’t quite recall), I was given another award (I think) by someone else, though I can’t remember who (assuming I was given an award in the first place).

Most recently I was given a Fantastically Frightening Award by Brittney-Jade over at Day of the Woman, who called me the best hairy dude who hates everything and likes cute animals. Or something. I don’t really, as I’m too lazy to double check. But thanks just the same.

I think the rules dictate I give these awards out to people in return, but I don’t really want to single anyone out and I hate rules. You all do wonderful jobs writing words about things, and you should keep this up until you’re recognized for the fantastic writers you all are.

So I give an award to all of you. The….Awesome Award for Writing About Things. There’s no picture to go along with it because I suck at Photoshop.

So recently the Vault of Horror received an award from Planet of Terror called the Honest Scrap Award. He doesn’t know what it means, and frankly neither do I, but b_sol was kind enough to bestow this award onto I Love Horror and nine other noteworthy horror blogs. Coinciding with this was the creation of the Necronomicon Award for Outstanding Blogs of Horror by the proprietor of Monster Land, which was bestowed upon me as well. The appropriately named Ms. Harker conferred upon me both awards (presumably – she lumped them together), bringing the total level of ego inflation to astronomical levels. Then it came full circle when Day of the Woman. With the exception of b_sol, they’re all from women. Proof all the ladies love me and want to stroke my beard.

These awards are largely ceremonial given their ex nihilo nature, yet they are more than simple ego boosters. They are a sign of the growth and overwhelming sense of community that pervades the blogging community, bringing together like-minded individuals who share a passion for all things horror. Constant interaction and the ability to bounce new ideas off of each other lead to new appreciation and understanding of the genre, as well as increased opportunities within the professional world. Without I Love Horror and the endless support of other horror bloggers, I never would have landed some of the writing gigs I have now, especially the one at Fangoria, and for that I am eternally grateful.

On that note, here’s my list of the ten blogs I feel deserve an award or two, complete with sarcastic commentary and hilariously insulting comments. I tease because I love. If I left anyone out it’s not because I don’t love you. I really do. It’s just that I can only include so many blogs and you’re all wonderful and I promise I’ll make it up to you. How ’bout dinner followed by a movie? Maybe followed by a little “just friends” spooning?

The Vault of Horror Brian Solomon is like a Cinderella story in the world of blogging, and if it weren’t for our collaborations and all the help and support he has given me over the past several months, I’d be doing everything in my power to steal that silver slipper. Try as you might, b_sol, I WILL VANQUISH YOU! After our Dawn of the Dead podcast, however.

Horror’s Not Dead Why no one has mentioned him yet is beyond me. I think I owe more to Peter Hall than I do any other blogger. Without him I wouldn’t have gotten into the LoTT D, and without him I never would have been able to set up my site without making a series of grievous errors. Beyond that he is a frequent collaborater, and has graciously and selflessly offered me a place to crash while I ham it up with fans and bigwigs at FantasticFest. Little does he realize that I plan on stealing all of his DVDs. He always has something to offer in the way of reviews, commentary, and sporadic shit you’d never think existed.

Evil on Two Legs Aside from his awesome banner, Corey of Eo2L runs a clean, comprehensive site that covers just about damned near everything. From DVD releases to going-ons in the horror blogging community, this LAMB award winner offers something new and exciting with each post. I don’t know him well enough to make a sarcastic jab at him, so I’ll just poke fun at him for having the same name as my sister.

Day of the Woman The sister blog of the Vault of Horror is one of the more well-known blogs for one reason: the easter egg link to her hidden porn site. Kidding. It’s because she’s damned awesome at what she does and does it with a passion that belies her 19-year old, baton-twirling persona. She throws convention into the wind and writes about the most random topics. Oddly enough why I’m so awesome has yet to be one of them.

And Now the Screaming Starts One of the earliest supporters of I Love Horror, CrWM is one of the best writers I have come across. Infusing every post with the most obscure and esoteric factoids and references, he waxes philosophic on every conceivable topic, composing eloquentdissertation-like articles that make me feel really, really stupid. He recently offered me the opportunity to contribute a guest post, and now I feel really shitty for taking so long to respond to his most recent e-mail. My bad, yo.

Castle Vardulon I first stumbled upon the Count’s blog during my research for the popular French flick À L’Intérieur. He HATED this movie. His review put my potty mouth to shame, as it contained more instances of the word “fuck” than I have ever seen in one piece of work. We began talking after I made a comment about how very wrong he is, and despite this I have enjoyed his blog ever since. Quality, in-depth analysis of films and television enhanced by him and The Dive Mistresses’ AVOD – the audio-only video podcast make his blog worthy of applause, and perhaps maybe a bouquet of roses, too.

The Dive Mistress The cleverly named Zombots is the vehicle for the Dive Mistress, Vardulon’ partner in crime and denizen of my former haunt for eight years. It’s a shame I learned this AFTER I moved two thousand miles away (by like two fucking weeks), ’cause she’s a top notch writer and I could have really used a single friend who actually enjoyed horror as much as I do.

Monster Land This blog is relatively new to me, and despite my disappointment upon learning it wasn’t for a kick ass new theme park, I have grown to love it. Why? Well, it’s really good. Isn’t that what these awards are about? She’s also an academic like me, and will hopefully not be forced to quit like I did after spending too much fucking money on a worthless Master’s degree. She also said I was “a repository of the very best in horror criticism.” Who am I to argue with the truth?

Planet of Terror Despite overlooking my genius and humility, the insanely clever Cortez the Killer and The Complaint Department serve up a unique combination of old school and new school reviews guaranteed to keep you entertained and laughing your happy little ass off. Plus, they’re tuned into the importance of the blogging community, and I can totally dig that.

Musings Across a Continuum The appropriately named Ms. Harker is a vampire-lovin’, wallaby-wranglin’ Aussie bringing us the latest in all-things vampire. Why she’s living in Australia is beyond me, but I’d love to hear her say vampire with what I hope is an uber-thick Aussie accent. Plus, she’s been a long-time supporter of I Love Horror and friended me on Facebook, making her my furthest friend in the world.

Kindertrauma Because FUCK TOP TENS. Kindertrauma fucking owns your face not for its unique content and establishment as one of the best horror blogs in existence, but because it rocks a pink background and does it with fucking PRIDE.

Now I suppose this is the point where I reveal ten things about myself, huh? This never ends well.

1. I have a Master’s degree from Florida State University in Classical Civilizations. I don’t recommend it.

2. I really do not like the original Dawn of the Dead. In fact, I think it’s pretty bad as far as horror goes.

3. My favorite horror movie is Session 9 and I’ve been doing everything in my power to get an interview with Brad Anderson. A million cool points if you can make this happen.

4. I’m a hypochondriac to the nth degree, and I’m convinced I’m going bald, the giant, thick mess of long hair on my head notwithstanding.

5. I lost my job in Florida because of Facebook. This was one of the best and worst things to happen to me.

6. I love Welsh Corgis and desire to own two. Oh, what fun we’ll, laughing and playing and galavanting around.

7. I have a twin brother. He’s incredibly smart and knows this. We’re not identical, and the only thing we have in common is our lack of compassion. He hates horror.

8. The view from my balcony in Denver is so incredibly beautiful that for a brief moment you’ll experience what it’s like to see God. The you’ll realize it’s just gas.

9. I started this blog with the intent of building a writing portfolio and somehow finding a way to get my work read. I now contribute articles to Fangoria.com, which is one step below my dream of writing for the magazine full time.

10. My am so afarid of heights I cling to the center pole in gondola rides at county fairs and theme parks like a little bitch.