While Twilight is clearly not horror, this is just too damned funny to not share. While most are content to bash its sparkly vampires, I’m a huge proponent of bitching about just how fucking terrible Stephenie Meyer’s writing is. Unfortunately, while I feel I can adequately convey my frustration via the written word, I am not too eloquent with the spoken word. Thankfully, there are cheeky British fellows who will do that for me.

This is Alex. As he goes through each chapter of the book, this 20-year old Brit adds a humorous mix of commentary and statements of utter shock over how this dreck could be published. it is, in short, fucking hysterical, due in no small part to his accent.

Because come on, British people are always funnier.

Which really comes as no surprise to me, seeing as how Thomas Disch (RIP) created it and that man was a demented genius. Anyone with a fear of clowns should avert their eyes. Cartoon-y horror at its finest.

Thanks to BJ-C at Day of the Woman I was introduced to this fine piece of auditory awesomeness. It’s not exactly horror elated, but a main part of the song is a sample from the Tod Browning classic Freaks, so I think it’s fairly appropriate for this site.

I do not like Eli Roth. I think his films are ludicrous, and the only sort of entertainment they serve is akin to that of a Jerry Bruckheimer film: mindless entertainment forgotten as quickly as it came. In the face of my extreme disdain for his films, I respect him much in the same way I respect George W. Bush. Both men are true to their convictions, despite almost every choice they make and every word that comes out of their mouths is nothing but utter bullshit.

Case in point: the following interview referenced in an interview with Mr. Roth wherein the controversial director defends his choices to that little imp Neil Cavuto.

While I agree wholeheartedly that horror movies can be seen as a means of escape and release, the notion that horror films are made specifically as a reaction to the current political climate is, to agree with Cavuto, a huge leap. Taking every opportunity he had to criticize Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, Roth makes the claim that the recent influx of popular horror films is a direct result of the actions of a few men, in what I can only see as thinly-veiled attempt to defend his own film. Eli Roth once proclaimed that his Hostel was a parallel to the atrocities committed as Abu Ghraib, a bold claim that is hard to clearly see in a defenseless Japanese girl getting her eyeball drilled out by a sociopathic American. When questioned by Cavuto over the political circumstances surrounding the release of Psycho, Roth incorrectly asserts that the film was an indictment of Ed Gein, which is no more true than saying the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an indictment of Black & Decker. But to defend the graphic depictions of torture in your films by saying they’re intended to make a point about the war is needless extrapolation to defend your terrible films.

Whatever happened to horror for the sake of horror? Not everything has to be a huge missive railing against something. While they do exist (Dawn of the Dead anyone?) I would have much more respect for Roth if he would just fucking admit his is not.

Maybe I just haven’t been looking in the right places, but with all the fanfare over the Peter Jackson-produced District 9, you would think someone would mention the short film it’s based on.

I first saw Alive in Joburg, directed by Neill Blomkamp, about three years ago and was absolutely blown away by it creativity and originality. About a year back he was attached to direct the cinematic adaptation of Halo until funding issues got in the way. That was the last I heard of him until District 9 promos started appearing on TV. Those who were fortunate enough to see sneak previews of the film have raved about it, and it is shaping up to be one of the most highly anticipated films of the year.

Enjoy the short.

The winner of Best Short Film and Best Concept at the 2006 Horror Film Festival in Chicago, The Life and Death of a Pumpkin is a darkly comedic look at the morbid practice of jack-o-lantern carving on All Hallows Eve told from the point of view of a pumpkin. Plucked from its pumpkin patch and family, an unnamed pumpkin undergoes torture and ultimately death at the hands of sadistic revelers and children. Directed by Aaron Yonda and produced by Blame Society Films, it manages to combine the shocking horror of pumpkincide with sporadic bits of deadpan humor. It is not to be missed.

Once I get my site revamped, I intend on making a videos section where all the wonderfully whacky and horrifying videos I find on the interblags will make their home.