Nothing Should Be Sacred
“Zombies don’t run.”
Well, why the fuck not?
With Zack Snyder’s plot-hole ridden and downright hilarious re-imagining of Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, convention was turned upside down and the commonly accepted notion of the slow zombie was thrown to the wind. Fast zombies, heretofore relegated to more comedy-themed horror films such as Return of the Living Dead and Dead Alive, became a brute force within the horror genre. Zombies were now coked-up speed demons after a bender on Red Bull, and the only thing that could stop them was a bullet to the brain. Or a door, I suppose.
As the decade progressed, factions were born. Some accepted fast zombies with open arms, while others remained steadfast in their devotion to Romero’s creation. There’s even a blog devoted to the supposed “classic” zombie called Zombies Don’t Run. The heart of the argument lies in the notion that Romero created the modern conception of the zombie, and to deviate from the mythology that made zombies one of the most beloved creatures in film is a sin akin to blasphemy. But Romero didn’t create the zombie, and for us to consider the shiftless flesh eaters sacred is to laugh at progression and to spit in the face of evolution.
Nothing is sacred in film.
Whether zombies run, walk, or do the fucking Charleston as they seek their next meal, it’s simply the natural order of things. In film, zombies started out as a Vodou creation, making their first appearances in films such as White Zombie and I Walked With A Zombie. Then in 1968 the tides changed and we were introduced to the zombie everyone knows and loves. His interpretation and restructuring of their mythology, advanced over 40 plus years and six films culminated with zombies learning the ability to use firearms (Diary of the Dead and Survival of the Dead are essentially prequels) for Christ’s sake. To make a fuss over zombies running is a God damned waste of time.
We could get into an argument over Romero’s zombies not being the first zombies in film, but even I can concede to the notion that he is responsible for zombies as we know it. Throwing upon him the same claims supporters of slow zombies foist upon Snyder’s creation is a foolish endeavor. In the end, fast zombies haven’t done anything to sully the good name of slow zombies, they just opened new avenues to explore in horror movies.
Embrace change. Nothing is sacred, nor should it be. Without change, we would not have Romero’s zombies, and none of these stupid arguments would even be taking place.
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running zombies… next we’ll have vampires that sparkle in the daylight. have you no shame!
Don’t you think we’ve got to give 28 Days Later the credit for kicking off the running zombie era? Though not zombies-proper, the infected haul ass. Which was part of the punch of that flick the first time you saw it. Once the infected started booking, the idea that you could safely and calmly out-think these guys was pretty much tossed out the window.
I refuse to in any way associate the infected of those movies with zombies. That’s why I left them out.
Your statement re: Return of the Living Dead is a little confusingly written – but that is the first case of running zombies, right? Also, while there’s comedy in that film, the zombies and horror are pretty serious overall.
The more important thing here, though, is how hilarious it is that the image you’ve chosen for this article was so widely used to promote Dawn of the Dead. Every time I look at it, all I can think about is how that actor probably should have tucked his shirt in, since they didn’t apply any make-up to his stomach.
You know, I just noticed that. That whole part makes no sense. That’s what i get for writing tired and so haphazardly. Thanks for pointing it out.
I prefer the slow zombies, but there’s nothing wrong with fast zombies. They at least can provide a few good scares. Not to mention with slow zombies I could never figure out how anyone managed to get caught by them. Wouldn’t you just run faster and try to stay out of large groups of them???
Fast or slow, I guess I don’t really care. The bigger problem is what to do with them.
Inviting them in for tea and cookies has only worked once, but they overstayed their welcome.
I’ve never seen a zombie movie that went on long enough for what I’ve always wanted to see. They start off fast and feral and as the rot they get slower but they get smarter. Next thing you know you got zombie stalking parties making booby traps and now it doesn’t matter if they can run or not. You can’t either.
Zombies probably shouldn’t be able to run, not the ones that aren’t really fresh anyway..But people shouldn’t really be able to rise from the dead either so the point of protest is rather useless.
And for the record, my favorite Zombie movie (Return of the Living Dead) has running Zombies.