I Love Horror – A horror blog devoted to the critical, analytical, and cynical assessment of the horror industry and horror films.

splinter_movie_poster

Director: Toby Wilkins
Year: 2008
Country: USA

I’ve known about Splinter, the unique 2008 horror flick by Toby Wilkins, for awhile. I was impressed by its supposed clout, as it had won six awards at the 2008 Screamfest Horror Film Festival, and was up for Best Horror Film at the 2008 Saturn Awards. So when I finally got Netflix back, I queued it up and awaited what I hoped would be a welcome respite from the crap I’ve been watching as of late.

I have to stop getting my hopes up.

Splinter tells the poorly-constructed tale of Seth and Polly, a couple in love on their way to an idyllic camping trip in the forests of Oklahoma for some reason. In the middle of playful bickering and Seth’s dendrophilia, they’re hijacked by Dennis, an escaped convict seemingly on his way to Mexico, and his tweaked-out girlfriend Lacey. Promoting the stereotype that all hijackers are bastards, they threaten the couple and force them to drive until they run over an animal infected by the splinter parasite and get a flat tire. Forced to stop at a gas station, the gravity of the situation is revealed as Lacey is infected by the splinter-carrying gas station attendant who was introduced at the beginning of the film. All hell breaks loose and a biology lesson ensues.

Splinter is the epitome of wasted potential. This is found primarily in the method through which the infected individuals move. The stutter-stop form of movement of those infected by the splinter parasite (I really have no idea what else to call it) is an effective way of invoking fear, and is used liberally throughout the film; unfortunately the direction is so sloppy we rarely get a chance to see it. Everything is so fast-paced and disjointed that any chance of actually seeing anything scary is ruined.

The characters are horribly written. Dennis, played by Shea Whigham, undergoes a sudden transition from “I’m going to shoot you in the fucking face” bad ass to a martyr, first by helping the two people he hijacked and threatened with death to sacrificing himself to save their lives. The attempt at elucidating his humanity through a sob story concerning his past indiscretions did little to make me actually give two shits as to what happened to the guy. Paulo Costanzo and Jill Wagner, who play the hijacked couple, are archetypal versions of nerd and hot chick, though I give the film mad props for giving the skinny Biology Ph.D a hot girlfriend.

One of the few positive aspects of the film is the parasite itself. A unique approach to what can loosely be considered a zombie infection, the parasite takes over the body and simply looks for new hosts. As the movie progresses we learn more about it thanks to Seth and his extensive knowledge biology background, providing an actual method to the madness.

Splinter is one of those films that attempts to put a unique spin on a tired theme, yet ultimately failing in its execution. It focused more on action and less on suspense, the latter of which could have been successfully utilized through better direction and a non-hackneyed score. While I found the film erred more on the side of “terrible,” I found myself endlessly entertained during the rare glimpses of the splinter parasite in action., and as such recommend it for that aspect alone.