Which really comes as no surprise to me, seeing as how Thomas Disch (RIP) created it and that man was a demented genius. Anyone with a fear of clowns should avert their eyes. Cartoon-y horror at its finest.
Director: Kevin Greutert
Year: 2009
Country: USA
I have yet to review any of the Saw films. As a whole I do not like them, as I feel they do nothing more than endlessly recycle the same basic premise without ever really accomplishing anything new. The stories being told in between the violence and gore get thinner as the series progresses, the disastrous result of the decision to kill off Jigsaw in the third installment, which is arguably the best of the series. Instead, the series continued, introducing new characters and a successor to Jigsaw, the motives of which are revealed in the fifth installment, considered the weakest entry in the franchise. After watching Saw VI however, the realization that all of this serves a purpose has come full circle, and fans of the franchise are given a stellar horror film and the first Saw film since part three where the plot, as opposed to the clever kills, is the most interesting aspect of the film.
Wrapped up in a not-so-subtle critique of the current state of the health care industry, Saw VI delves even deeper into the motives of John Kramer and this time centering the newest game around the V. P. of an insurance company whose formula to determine who gets coverage and who doesn’t. Without descending into spoiler territory, this naturally has negative effects on his overall wellbeing, as he is thrown into a deadly carnival of mayhem that has come to typify the new millennium’s latest horror franchise.
The success of this film relies heavily on past events, as it manages to wrap up every lingering detail in a tight-knit package without making the same mistakes the prior two entries in the franchise did. The story focuses heavily on Kramer, his motivations, and the role of his ex-wife Jill Tuck, who as largely been a very minor character throughout the series. Saw VI in many ways is analogous to Saw III in that it marks a point where one storyline ends and another begins. Most cried foul upon seeing installments IV and V, as the main antagonist of the film was gone and thus should signify the end of the series. Instead, they in many ways act as a second trilogy, involving new characters and new story lines without straying too far away from the overarching theme of the series. While Saws IV and V were undoubtedly the worst films in the franchise, they allowed all of the elements of the first three films to come together in a solid and entertaining way.
Like most Saw films (the original film is excluded, because that wasn’t acting, it was failing in motion), the acting is questionable but by no means bad. Costas Mandylor, who plays detective-cum-Jigsaw the Deuce, plays his role better in this film than the prior few in which he was a central part of the mayhem, though his face continues to be permanently locked in a grimace, which is appropriate for his character yet still mildly humorous. The editing is frenetic as usual but toned down given the nature of the traps, and of course we’re met with one Hell of a twist ending that would leave most shocked when it’s revealed.
Some have been saying Saw VI has “saved the franchise,” which is both a good and a bad thing, depending on your point of view. After part three, we were treated to two subpar sequels that some felt signalled the end of the franchise, only to be met with a supposed saving grace. While this is merely a reflection of cynical pessimism concerning the Saw franchise, the smart money is now on two more sequels that serve as an attempt to jump start a new storyline, only to have Saw IX in 2012 reconcile everything once again. The future of the franchise notwithstanding, however, Saw VI is a solid effort and a breath of fresh air, especially for those who have endured the first five films every October for the past five years. With luck, the momentum can continue and the series can eventually end on a high note.
Halloween has come and gone, so in the same vein as BJ-C over at Day of the Woman, I present to you a bunch of photos from when I signed my soul away to the Devil. Enjoy.
Director: Lars von Trier
Year: 2009
Country: Denmark
The influence of Lars von Trier’s latest magnum opus Antichrist reaches far and wide. The overarching theme of the film, “chaos reigns,” became the unofficial slogan of Fantastic Fest, and although recently cancelled to legal issues, CHUD.com and IFC sponsored a “make your own Antichrist poster” contest so that similarly disturbed individuals could artistically express their love for what has come to be, for me, one of the worst horror films of the year.
This sort of reaction is not what I would have expected from such a brilliant filmmaker. My experience with the film prior to viewing it was simply reading the words, “Lars von Trier to make a horror film called Antichrist,” and that was all that was needed to get the anticipation flowing through my veins. What we have here, then, is another example of the hype machine working its magic, instilling in me expectations that can in no way be met or exceeded.
Am I the only one who thinks this would make for an excellent horror film?
In 1982 a Florida clinic received a young man, age 29, who had been picked up by the police in a dazed and beaten condition. He had no ID and was acting in a quite bizarre manner. At the clinic the young man, named Eric, began talking to the doctors in two voices: the infantile rhythms of a young child and the measured tones of an adolescent or adult. According to the “older Eric,” after the death of his immigrant German parents, his stepfather and his mistress took him to a Florida drug dealer’s hideout, where he was rape3d several times and watched his stepfather murder two women.
Eric continued to talk with his therapist about his past. During one treatment session Eric’s face suddenly twisted into a violent snarl and he spat out a stream of obscenities. This disclosure of a new personality, who demanded to be called Mark, indicated to the psychologist that Eric was suffering from multiple-personality disorder. Eric’s other personalities emerged over the next few weeks: a timid middle-aged man named Dwight; the hysterically blind and mute Jeffrey; and arrogant named Michael; a coquette named Tina, (considered a whore by Eric); and finally an argumentative lawyer named Phillip who was concerned about Eric’s rights.
Ultimately, Eric revealed 27 different personalities, including three females, one of whom was gay. The ages of these personalities ranged from a fetus to a sordid old man who wanted Eric to fight in Haiti as a mercenary. During one therapy session lasting an hour, Eric shifted personalities nine times. Most of the personalities interacted with one another. One personality named Cye was a religious mystic who left comforting notes for Eric. Michael, a pushy young man who loved rock music, hated Eric’s classical music so much that he tore out the wires to the stereo. One of the personalities was a librarian named Max who would signal an imminent personality changed by saying, “One of the books just fell off the shelf.”
Thanks to whatever site this is for introducing me to this.
Sadly, this film is not a documentary detailing the unfortunate demise of a vapid whore who cries when her daddy doesn’t get her the right car for her birthday, but instead an original made-for-MTV horror flick airing this Friday at 10 PM.
To get straight to the point, I do not think this movie will be very good, but I do admire MTV for both abandoning their normal tripe and producing a horror film, the caliber of which is far beyond anything bullshit remake that has recently come out (read: anything by J.S. Cardone). The film is (obviously) a send up of that insipid My Super Sweet 16 show, which if the trailer is indication looks to be genuinely bloody and, dare I say, a damn good time. Plus, it’s directed by Jacob Gentry, who directed the second “transmission” of the beyond stellar thriller The Signal, so with luck the humor will be bloody dark and hilarious. Also, ignore the fact that it was written by two individuals whose writing credits are ironically mostly reality shows.
Bonus: the film stars Juliana Guill, who is banging hot and totally got naked in the Friday the 13th redux by Platinum Dunes.
Thanks to BJ-C at Day of the Woman I was introduced to this fine piece of auditory awesomeness. It’s not exactly horror elated, but a main part of the song is a sample from the Tod Browning classic Freaks, so I think it’s fairly appropriate for this site.
Now in list format!
1. If you have not been to Castle Vardulon, I suggest you drop what you’re doing right now and make way to this little corner of the internet post haste! The one and only Count Vardulon is a rare treat in that not only does he cover horror movies and literature, he also writes incredibly long yet hysterical reviews of episodes of popular TV shows such as CSI: Miami and Criminal Minds. Thrown into the mix are his hilarious Saturday Night RapeWatch columns and the weekly AVOD, the internet’s only audio-only video podcast. Run in tandem with the lovely Dive Mistress, herself a shining beacon on the horror blogging community, the AVOD is a hilarious podcast no horror fan should go without. This past week they invited me as a special guest to discuss my time spent at Fantastic Fest. I won’t post it here, but you should definitely go HERE and check it out for yourself.
2. Head on over to Horror Squad, where we’re unveiling the 31 Fates Worse Than Death and other wonderful things.
3. I received a bunch of new comics in the mail, so God willing I’ll be throwin’ some reviews of them within the next week or so. Life always seems to get in the way of what I want to do.
4. Here’s a picture. Enjoy.
Director: Jake West
Year: 2009
Country: United Kingdom
A plethora of zombie films have saturated the horror film landscape for almost a decade, drawing the ire of those who simply want something more than the same ol’ same ol’ out of the walking dead. Every so often, however, we’re given a unique zombie film, be it outright horror or the increasingly popular zombie-comedy (”zom-com”), to satisfy our lust for originality. Sadly, many of these fail to get the recognition they deserve and as such, they tend to make the rounds at film festivals and gain popularity through word-of-mouth before ultimately being released to DVD without so much as a limited theatrical release. With luck, Jake West will buck the trend, as his splatter zom-com Doghouse is a triumph of horror-comedy that takes basic zombie tropes and turns them every which way. The result is one of the most inventive and gut-busting horror comedies to be released in years
I did not see anywhere near as many movies as I had planned before the Fest started.
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (4/10)
Van Diemen’s Land (3/10)
Gentlemen Broncos (3/10)
Solomon Kane (5/10)
Paranormal Activity (10/10)
Zombieland (10/10)
Trick ‘r Treat (8/10)
Morphine (5/10)
Under the Mountain (4/10)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (7/10)
Survival of the Dead (5/10)
Buratino, Son of Pinocchio (6/10)
Rampage (8/10)
The Children (8/10)
REC2 (9/10)
Cropsey (6/10)
House of the Devil (4/10)
Salvage (2/10)
A Serious Man (9/10)
Doghouse (9/10)
The Revenant (7/10)
Daybreakers (8/10)
22 films? Is that it? Apparently you CAN get burnt out watching movies for eight days straight.
Arriving in Austin the night before the fest starts, I was taking straight from the airport to the Alamo Drafthouse downtown by Peter Hall, wherein I was subjected to Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, the sequel to Eli Roth’s splatter horror-comedy. Unlike most of those I saw the film with, I did not hate it, as there were some intriguing moments and some humorous dialogue, but I would have to be in agreement that it is most certainly not a good film. Some of the cast was there for a Q&A, which was the most awkward thing I have ever witnessed, as no one wanted to be there. Rider Strong himself actually commented, “I don’t know why I’m here, I was only in the film for forty seconds.”Later that night (I think it was that night), we all went to
Day 1
The next day I watched four films, with only one being classified as “worth a damn.” Van Diemen’s Land was a gorgeous film, yet dragged like no other. The story of the quickest turn to cannibalism in history (I believe it was three days) could not be saved by morbid depression and minute-long shots of a character’s face. Gentlemen Broncos, the new film by one-hit wonder Jared Hess, was pretty terrible, yet had a few humorous moments scattered throughout. Word on the street is that it was the worst of the Fest, though my vote goes to Salvage. Such unmitigated crap, it made me want to punch a baby. Solomon Kane was fun and reminded me of Van Helsing, but a little more intelligent and less vomit inducing. Later, I believe the next day, I was given the opportunity to interview the director, Michael J. Bassett, but passed because I did not like the film as much as my cohorts did. The night ended with Paranormal Activity and it was the best horror film I have ever seen. If you’re lucky enough to find it playing in your home town, take a date with you to see it. After watching it she’ll be so terrified she’ll practically beg you to stay the night. TRUTH!
Day 2
The next day we decided to forgo early screenings and made our first movie Zombieland which was perfect. It was consistently humorous and filled to the brim with delightful zombie action. If you miss it, well, Jesus hates you. The next showing was Trick ‘r Treat, which was a throwback to classic anthology movies such as Creepshow and excellent. The night ended with bullshitting with the director and others behind the Drafthouse. It was over a week ago, so I honestly have no idea what else happened that night.
Day 3
Photo courtesy of Paul Gandersman.
Four movies! The day started off with Morphine, and it being the first film of the day did not prevent my eyes from closing. A lot. While the film was good, it was, much like Van Diemen’s Land, very slow and drawn out. Following that was Under the Mountain a Disney-esque kids film by the director of Black Sheep, a film about zombified sheep. Yeah, I didn’t get the transition either. Sadly, I did not dig the film, and left before the Q&A started. After that, we left the Drafthouse to head to the Paramount downtown where I was privy to two featured screenings. Cirque du Freak was a fun fuckin’ film, yet featured some absolutely terrible acting on the part of the lead. John C. Reilly’s dialogue was incredibly flat, yet he managed to deliver some of the funniest lines of the film. After the film was Survival of the Dead, my review of which can be found here. Despite everyone’s opinion on the film, seeing George Romero speak and handle every retarded question thrown at him with grace and style was a treat. Following the film we headed to the Highball, the the new bar owned by Tim League, pugilist and owner of the Drafthouse, for the FantasticFeud. Hosted by the inimitable Scott Weinberg, the Feud pitted ten Americans against ten “terrorists,” as they were affectionately referred, in crazy horror trivia. Good times were had by all, and a drunk Paul McEvoy almost got beat down by Mr. Weinberg for being, well, a drunk Brit. I proceeded to get drunk and sing karaoke and booty dance behind the lovely Christine Hall as she belted out “Baby Got Back.”
Photo courtesy of Scott Weinberg.
Photo courtesy of Paul Gandersman.
Day 4
Day 4 was kind of weak, starting with Buratino: Son of Pinocchio a bizarre pseudo-musical about love and discovery and other weird shit that would have been awesome during an acid trip. It was followed up by Rampage, the new Uwe Boll movie, which was actually…well, good. Well, about as good as a movie about an upper-middle class white boy killing everyone he sees can be. Although I enjoyed it immensely, my cohorts felt it to be, well, lacking in substance, plot and underlying motivation. Afterward Boll held a Q&A where he rambled endlessly, presumably to hear himself talk. The night ended with a midnight showing of The Children, a spooky and taut thriller about kids who inexplicably decide killing their parents is more fun that making a snowman.
Day 5
Day 5 started off strong with a press screening of REC2. It was by far the best video game adaptation I have ever seen, and indeed a solid follow-up to REC. Following REC2 i saw Cropsey a documentary about a presumed serial killer from some time back. It was good, as far as documentaries go, but overall nothing to write home about. Following that was Ti West’s throwback to 80s horror flicks House of the Devil. Despite my objections to the overall plot and pacing of the film, show this film to someone who has been in a coma for the past thirty years and they’ll think it’s still the eighties. In that West succeeded admirably.
It should be noted now that the day before I volunteered to participate in the Fantastic Debates, a competition wherein two geeks are pitted against each other in both a verbal sparring match and a balls-to-the-wall boxing match, complete with gloves, headgear, and cup. It was revealed that I would be debating and fighting “Chivvon,” a black lesbian who works at the Highball. The topic: Are Vampires Gay? My position: Yes. I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning this debate. My original stance was the negative, and I had this huge spiel planned on how vampires aren’t gay, but alas, I was to be the sacrificial lamb and was asked to change my viewpoint. Eschewing proper preparation in favor of drinking, bowling and schmoozing with new friends. I stepped into the ring and was RAPED by Chivvon.
Photo courtesy of Paul Gandersman.
By the end, the whole crowd was calling me gay – not that there’s anything wrong that – and I was shamed. Then we boxed. Due to small headgear and a strap that wouldn’t fasten, my helmet flew off three times until I decided to leave it off. I am convinced that it was my defective headgear that caused the audience to think Chivvon won the fight, though word on the street (read: from three people) was that I got a bum rap and was actually the better fighter. It was eventually revealed to me that she was a boxer in the Air Force, meaning God hates me and wanted me to be humiliated. After the fight I spoke with the lead in Rampage, who genuinely thought I was going to kill her, prompting him to ask me if I pulled my punches.
Photo courtesy of Paul Gandersman.
I fucking won, bitches.
I went home tired as fuck and humiliated, but proud for being the only one to volunteer to jump into the ring and be called gay, a bigot and a pussy in one fell swoop.
Day 6
The next day started with Salvage a pathetic attempt at…something. The pain endured while watching the film was exacerbated by the fact that I was in severe pain from a full bladder. After the film I spent the majority of the day at the Highball doing work and bullshitting before the secret screening, which turned out to be A Serious Man, the new film by the Coen brothers. It was, in short, phenomenal, but highly depressing.
Day 7
The second-to-last day of the Fest I had four or five movies planned and I ended up only seeing one. Doghouse, the pseduo-zombie flick by Brit and Colin Hey-lookalike Jake West was excellent and the most fun I have had in a movie in a long day. I have no idea what happened beforehand, and I think I may be getting the events of the last day confused.
Day 8
Photo courtesy of Scott Weinberg.
Before kicking off the days films, we got BBQ at a place called Sam’s. It was awesome, and naturally we got a picture of it. The films today were The Revenant and Daybreakers, both solid films in their own right, despite The Revenant not being completed. The director was, as far as I could tell, drunk as shit during the Q&A. Prior to Daybreakers, Crow and Fox from Antichrist made an appearance on the stage, then ran around the theater as the audience shouted the new unofficial slogan of the Fest, Chaos Reigns. Video of the event can be found here. We were also served half-filled glasses of what was presumably sangria, which I opted out of drinking on account of it smelling like fermented piss. Daybreakers was excellent, and the Q&A with the Spierig bros. afterward made me respect the film even more. A solid follow-up to the relatively lackluster Undead. After the film we departed to the Highball where a vampire party was going on, and after having a beer and laughing at the hipsters dressed as vampires fondle each other (no joke!), we departed to a friend’s house where we caroused and chatted and I fell asleep several times.
Photo courtesy of Scott Weinberg.
I left the next day. The end.
A billion more pictures of the entirety of the Fest can be found at the website of Paul Gandersman. For those debating whether or not to attend the next festival, stop it and just buy your damned badge. I had a wonderful time, met some wonderful people, and you can bet your ass I’ll be returning next year.
I also want to give a special thanks to the following people for making my trip so memorable: Peter and Christine Hall, Brian Salisbury, Luke Mullen, Scott Weinberg, John Gholson, Maxim Pozderac, Toni Salisbury, Devin Steuerwald, Michelle “Last Name Unknown”, “DrewBlood,” Will Goss, Jenn Brown, Hallie “Last Name Unknown”, Dr. Cole Abaius, Rob Hunter, Jason Whyte, Chris Cargill, and anyone else I may be forgetting. I apologize if I did.
Keep rockin’.
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